Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
