I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
