didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
