im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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