I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
