ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
