So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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