Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
