Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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