She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
