how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I need a burrito and a hug.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
