It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
