Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
