Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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