So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize