Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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