DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize