so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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