Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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