Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
