i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Semen is not good for contacts.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
