I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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