my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
