so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was born a porn star she said
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
