they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
