It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
