nut hugger
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
