If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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