Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
