she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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