Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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