i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
