It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize