I hate all girls vehemently.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
