pop tarts are not kleenex
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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