And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize