I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
