You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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