never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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