I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
