I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
