I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's never too late to be topless.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
