I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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