Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
