My nipple is on Facebook.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
