He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My first STD was from a foam party
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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