Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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