Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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