R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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