dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
