You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
