we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
