plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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