So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
