Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
