its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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