remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this just has baby written all over it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
