everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
