So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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