i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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